Later half of 07'
Nude face
Early half of 08'
Later half of year 08'
i miss u XL
the very painful past. i know i look fat here. because i was fat!
had permed hair for awhile and decided i looked too aunty.
Later part of year 09'
Perfectly fine black hair, then im bored of my messy black hair look so i dyed to brown.
which i grew bored of and i dyed back to black! hahahahaha
Early part of year 10'
and thn the next few days i was sooooooo bored and tired of my hair style so i bleached it gold and cut it to my chest area.
My appearance may have changed a lot, but the girl within me changed even more.
It has been a very dramatic 4 years, which i dont even want to think or talk about.
From peer pressure , to names callings, to being aneroxic, to falling in love, to being abused, to taking private dip' instead of A lvls, to working in adult society, to learning etiquettes, to becoming stronger, to start saving money, to start investing the money that i've saved , to stop trusting love, to buying a dog, to learning to appreciate my life, my family, my friends.
Since young, I had never wanted my life to be like this, never.
I used to be talented at almost every single stuff.
From cooking to baking to painting to sewing to roller-blading to dancing to badminton to basketball etc,
the very motivated girl who wants to learn everything and everyone expects me to do well.
But now, people are actually surprised that i have talents at all.
the world assumed that i am a vain, and spoilt girl.
the impression i gave agrees with what they are thinking.
but now, i realised i dont care so much anymore.
why should i pleased others when its my life?
and even if i were to pleased, there will still be minorities that see flaws.
Im not perfect, even though i try to be.
I try to be a good daughter by not smoking, drinking, having tattoos, clubbing out late,
not because these are bad things,
but because if im a mum i dont want my daughter to make me worry too.
I try to be a good worker by being on time ( which is a very very big deal to expect out of me, because i hate to be the one waiting ) , to clinch deals monthly, to educate myself constantly with the world and news.
I try to be a good sister, my mei and i are very close from the day i matured , and i communicate with my brother even though he is embarrassed to be close with me these days.
I suspects that I may be too strict on my expectations on both of them. Haha.
And in so many other ways i try....
I try to be a good friend, i try to keep the apartment clean myself, i try to keep myself healthy.....
Yes , but still im as flawed as ever.
I refused to believe in online friendships between opp. sex.
Im bossy, and competitive.
Im fierce, and naggy and busy.
I am always late but i flared up when i have to wait for others.
Yes , this is me. Having travelled half of the world at my tender age.
Seen the world of the poorest of the poor, had a taste of the richest of the rich.
Saw through lies, and deceptions , and the cheating,
learned not to judge, to forgive but never forget.
yearn to love but too hurt to trust
still emotional , and feel sad about harsh way of life.
likes being versatile, hate being categorise to a certain style.
always nag at my parents, my siblings, my friends, strangers at every given opportunity.
and so far, no one has guessed my real age correctly :)
Yes , you can hate me.
But remember, I wont hate you.
